Pages

Monday, February 27, 2012

The Evil Genius Blogfest

The Golden Eagle over at The Eagle's Aerial Perspective is having her second blog birthday today, and to celebrate she's holding The Evil Genius Blogfest. The rules are simple: create a story,or non-fiction piece, in any format about an evil genius. It can be an already existing person from history or literature or you could, as I have done, create your own.

At 450 words, my entry is a little bit longer than The Golden Eagle's suggested limit of 400, but I hope you'll forgive me. Also, please bear with me. Humour is not something I usually tackle!
                                         


Handsome hero crept round the corner, punching First Anonymous Bad Guy in the face. Second Anonymous Bad Guy was no problem either. Handsome Hero back-kicked him without even turning round.

Handsome Hero made his way to the pool area, not even caring that he still had his shoes on. Rules were made to be broken. There she was, Plucky Heroine, bound to a chair, gagged . She'd held her own so far through this long adventure, but now it was time for him to rescue her from the clutches of Evil Genius.

He ran over to her, breaking another poolside rule, and began to work at the knots holding her captive.
“Mmmph,” she said.
“Sorry sweetheart?” He was still concentrating on the task at hand.
“MMMPH,” she said again, more urgently this time.

He looked up. There stood Evil Genius, a gun in his hand.
“I knew you'd come. This time Handsome Hero, it really is the end for you. I don't know how you escaped the ski lift of death, the roller-coaster of doom, or the runaway-driverless-subway-car of destruction, but no matter. You won't get away this time.”

From the corner of his eye Handsome Hero saw something move. Turning his head to look, he realised that the pool wasn't empty. There were several sharks swimming in it. Sharks? Really? Even as he'd stuffed the Shark repellent in his pocket this morning he hadn't thought he would need it. Sharks were so last decade. On the other hand, it would make this all a lot easier. He would be forced into the pool, then whilst Evil Genius was recounting every last step of his incredibly long and detailed plan to take over the world to poor, helpless Plucky Heroine, He, Handsome Hero, would despatch the sharks, silently climb out of the pool behind his nemesis and knock him unconscious. He sighed. It was a shame he had to get his hair wet.

“Stand on the edge of the pool,” ordered Evil Genius.
“I suppose you think you're going to make me jump in. No way that's happening.” Handsome Hero was pleased that he'd finally got some use out of the reverse psychology degree he'd taken all those years ago.

Evil Genius grinned an evil grin.
“Know why they call me Evil Genius?” He asked.
“No, why?”
Evil Genius raised his gun and shot Handsome Hero in the head. He watched as his enemy's lifeless body toppled into the pool.
“Because I learn from my mistakes.”

Plucky Heroine watched as Evil Genius walked away. She wondered how hard it would be to change her name to Evil Badass Sidechick.

57 comments:

  1. LOL. That was hilarious! And I love that the Plucky Heroine wanted to turn into the Evil Badass Sidechick by the end. :)

    No worries about the word count; you more than made up for it.

    Thanks for participating!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, this was so much fun :-)

      Delete
  2. Really funny! I agree with TGE on the twist. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gotta love a woman with her eye on the main chance :-)

      Delete
  3. no, I think you do humor really well! Like the twist at the end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Alex, and congratulations on a brilliantly successful launch!

      Delete
  4. Seriously funny, especially the last line. You do a great job twisting the villain cliche. I loved this.

    ReplyDelete
  5. HA! This is freakin' awesome! Love it girl!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ski lift of death sounds like an amazing thriller. And finally, the evil genius earns his name!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sounds like 70's airport blockbuster doesn't it?

      Delete
  7. LOL! Verrry fun. Thanks for sharing! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're very welcome. Glad you enjoyed it :-)

      Delete
  8. Go evil sidekick. Love those smart bad guys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe she'll help him take over the world after all :-)

      Delete
  9. Those are some great names of evil plans! Ski lift of death... hahaha! And I loved the ending!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Krista, it was harder than I thought coming up with daft names!

      Delete
  10. Loved the names of the plans, and the plucky heroine's thoughts about becoming an evil sidechick. Very funny!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was definitely fun to write, a departure for me :-)

      Delete
  11. Love it! Handsome Hero got cocky - he deserved it :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love having the power to kill the ones that should be killed :-)

      Delete
  12. This was wonderful to read enjoy the blogfest.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Loved Evil Genius's complicated death plans, and so glad he learned from his mistake. Handsome hero was a bit insufferable. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wasn't he just? A lesson in how not to write your hero :-)

      Delete
  14. Well, for someone who said they don't usually tackle humor...You had me snorting and giggling out loud. Sharks...so last decade! And the ending was perfect! Snort.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you liked it Bish, I had so much fun with it :-)

      Delete
  15. Oh my gosh, I so did not see that ending! Perfect! LOL!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Priceless... LOL!
    Are you certain that you don't normally tackle humour? Well, you should...
    Your wonderful sense of humour shone through in this piece!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was a lovely thing to say, thank you.

      Delete
  17. I laughed so hard, I spewed milk over my computer screen. I thought you said you don't normally write humor. This was hilarious. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I made you spew milk? Best compliment of the day ;-)

      Delete
  18. Shark repellent worked for Batman. Sometimes we like to see the bad guy win. Change is good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll confess, that might be where I 'borrowed' it from :-)

      Delete
  19. AH! I love it! Made me smile - killer last line!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Fantastic... fickle lady not even a shed tear for her Handsome. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no, she's far too ambitious for tears :-)

      Delete
  21. Loved the tongue-in-cheek writing.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Funny stuff. I like your name tags. Good luck in the blogfest!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Cynthia, it was nice not to have to think of real names for a change :-)

      Delete
  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  24. That made me laugh out loud (and startle my poodle, who thinks it's time for me to settle down for the night!) What a great ending twist! Loved it :-) Thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're very welcome. I'm so glad you enjoyed it :-)

      Delete
  25. Ok, THAT was hilarious! I love this entry. I love that their names are their role! I even like that Handsome Hero got shot in the end. I guess I'm odd that way!

    Sorry so long in reading this! I'm finally finishing up reading all the Evil Genius entries! Better late than never, huh?

    Nice to meet you,
    Jen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry Jen, somehow I missed your entry. I just read it now. Did you write it specifically, or is it part of a longer piece? I'd love to read more!

      Delete

I happily answer all comments on my blog, and by email if it's not a 'noreply' address :-)