H: Harlequin

Blogging from A to Z: H

I was whining to  discussing with my daughters the fact that I didn't have a great word for H. Thirty minutes later this picture turned up in my email in-box. I love the school Easter holiday :-)

Copyright: My Daughter :-)

Catching up

I've been quiet this week. I'd like to say it's because I've been preparing my A-Z challenge posts but, uh, no. (More on that in a moment). I have been trying to get a few things wrapped up before the mayhem begins on Sunday though. I watched The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo last week and it was enough to get me started reading the trilogy I've had since Christmas. I finished the last one last night and, although I thought they could have done with a serious edit, (really I don't care about all the specs of Lisbeth's laptop, just tell me it was 'top-of-the-range), I was hooked enough to read them one after the other. Yeah, that's my review.

I also went to see The Hunger Games at the cinema with the girls on Tuesday. I thought the last time I went to the cinema was to see Rugrats go Wild but the girls reminded me that I took them to see Nanny McPhee. That was in 2005, so going on Tuesday was a big deal. I would happily have waited for the DVD but it was lovely for the three of us to do something together. I was pleasantly surprised that, including us, there were only twelve people watching. I don't do well in crowds, so that helped me relax. As for the film, I thought it was okay. My biggest disappointment was the scene with the dogs. I'll say no more because of spoilers, but you probably know what I mean. On the plus side, there was nobody who I thought shouldn't have been playing the part they had. The stand-out for me was the girl playing Clove. I thought she was fantastic.

I had a great deal of trouble choosing a theme for the A to Z challenge so I'm going with … no theme. Big surprise, huh? I've got a few things written for other themes I was going to do (flash fiction, eighties stuff), so I'll still use those, but sometimes it might be pictures or other bits and pieces I've found. The only thing that hasn't changed since I signed up is the first post – it's a very easy one for me :-)

I've sent off the first chapter of one of the stories I'm revising to two different people for a critique. I'm plodding on with the rest of the work, so I'm happy with how that's going. I've also had an awesome idea for a new story, but I'm not quite sure how it's going to work, so I've written some notes and am just waiting for it to ferment some more.

To the nice people who have been inviting me to Google+ this week, I'm not ignoring you, I'm not on Google +. Thanks for asking though :-)

There will be a Musical Impression tomorrow, it's a special celebration one, so I hope you come back and share a friend's good news!

How has your week been?

Musical Stories 28: Children's Literature

After today I promise not to mention the girls' college adventures again, (at least until we find out if Diva gets accepted), but I just wanted to share some good news and bad news. The good news is that, the same day as Diva's new application form arrived, so did a letter thanking her for her completed application form. I called them to confirm that they had actually received it and was told that yes they had, and a letter inviting her to interview was on its way. That letter hasn't arrived yet, but at least we know it's coming. The bad news is that, as the deadline given for invitation to interview has now passed, Blue hasn't made it. We knew it was a long shot, they only take twenty British students per year, but I still hate seeing her unhappy. Now she has to decide which A-levels to take. Tough decision for someone who has absolutely no idea what she wants to do in the future. And why should she know? She's fifteen years old. I'm secretly quite excited that she's looking up entry requirements for creative writing degrees at University though, although I'm keeping quiet.

Anyway, on with this week's Musical stories. It's Children's Literature week, and I have three quite different songs for you to enjoy.

I think children tend to fall into two camps. The first are those who can't wait to get older, so they can stay up as late as they like and eat ice-cream for dinner, (or was that just me?). The second group, which is where our story fits, like things just the way they are thank you very much, and paying bills and going to work are for other people. They want to stay kids. Now that I'm an adult, I can definitely see the attraction!

Our second story is about the adventures of starting school, and how it's so much better if you have a special friend to share it with. It's no fun digging for worms on your own, you know :-)

When I first heard the last one, I could see it in my head as a picture book with beautiful illustrations. It seems as though someone had the same idea because tonight, whilst trying to find a decent version, I came across an Amazon entry for a picture-book of the same name. Further investigation revealed that it wasn't co-incidence, the two are the same. I suppose that means that technically I shouldn't include it, as these are all imaginary books but, you know me, never one to shirk the breaking of my own rules, I'm including it anyway because it makes me smile. (Incidentally, there is nothing wrong with your computer, the song is playing over a black screen, sorry but there wasn't a lot of choice).

I hope you enjoyed these. Prepare for chills next week, as we're revisiting the horror genre.

Lyrics here


Lyrics here


 Lyrics here

Fourth Writers' Platform Building Campaign

I'm pretty sure that you've all heard the news by now but, just in case you've somehow missed the announcement, the Fourth Writers' Platform-Building Campaign is upon us. I was part of the last one, and it was a lot of fun. You have until 15^th February to sign up and you can do so here, at Rachael Harrie's blog, Rach Writes. . . This time around it's a mini campaign running until 17^th March, so it's a perfect way to try it out if you're new to the campaign, before the big one in the Summer. It's a great way to make new friends :-)

In other news, I found out yesterday that The Old Geezer's blog has been hacked by spammers, so if he's on your reader it might be a good idea to remove his blog. Ron, if you're reading this, I hope you're back with us soon.

After four weeks of waiting, Diva phoned the art college yesterday to ask when she might hear from them. You know what's coming next, right? Yeah, they didn't receive her application. So, it's back to square one whilst we wait for a new one to come in the post. So, please keep those fingers crossed for a few weeks longer!

Today's post is a short one, so I'll leave you with a new trailer for one of the most eagerly awaited films of the year. Enjoy!

Musical Stories 27: Fantasy

Apologies for the very late post today. By the time I chose the songs last night I was too tired to battle with Blogger. (For some reason, it takes four or five attempts to post a video since they 'improved' the dashboard). Then, this morning there was a crisis in the kitchen when the the brownies that Diva was making to take to a Sherlock Holmes sleepover didn't go as planned. We managed to fix them and they're safely out of the door now. (That is, Diva and Blue are out of the door, not Diva and the brownies. Although, sadly, the brownies have gone with them).

I had a great long list of songs to choose from this week but when I went back over the lyrics it seemed that a lot of what I thought was Fantasy was actually Sci-Fi or Horror. There's definitely a fine line between genres these days, which I think is no bad thing :-)

The first song was recommended to me a while ago by Diva, but I only recently got round to watching the video. As soon as I did, I knew I had to post it this week. It's one of those stories that in no way has an original plot, but the execution of it, (both the tune, and the video), is just wonderful.

I'm a great believer in meaning being in the mind of the reader (or listener). To me, the second song is how Lucifer felt when he was first cast out, before he became the 'big bad' that we know and – as storytellers, rather than from a religious aspect – 'love'. I'd be interested to know if any of you interpret it differently.

My final song is a demonstration that the best fantasy comes from our own imaginations. We can be anything, go anywhere. (Have fun reminiscing over the video, too :-)).

I hope you found something to love this week. Next week, we're revisiting Children's Literature.

 Lyrics here


Lyrics here


 Lyrics here

Musical Stories 24: Literary

It's been a rough week in our house. Both the girls have had college applications to complete. One of them left it until the very last week, despite numerous reminders. I'll write more on this at a later date, but let's just say I'm really not looking forward to University applications in two years time!

I have two limericks I'm trying to write as a result of a rash statement I made on last week's musical stories. I promise you'll see the results, I just can't tell you when!

This week we're on the literary category in our musical stories. This is the week where, yes the story matters, but it's more about the beautiful words. All three of these songs are particular favourites of mine, so I do hope you find something special here.

I recently discovered that the writer of the first song wrote it about a 'composite of many people', including one C. S. Lewis. Isn't that what many of us do with our characters? Combine traits, I mean, not write about C. S. Lewis necessarily!

What can I say about the second one? I could choose any of this man's compositions for this category. Perhaps it's my imagination but I always feel an undercurrent of melancholy flowing through the happiest day of this girl's life.

If ever there was a story with the message that every day is precious, and we should celebrate. It's this last one. If you can, tell someone you love them today.

Next week, it's the turn of Chick Lit. And I'm still not posting I will Survive :-)

Lyrics here



Lyrics here



Lyrics here

Musical Stories 20: Romance

I messed up and you can't comment on this post. There is a newer post above it if you would like to leave a comment. Yes, I'm an idiot :-)

Thank you so much to all of you for your prayers and good wishes for Diva. She is absolutely fine now. She went to school today dressed like Annie Hall, which is a style she thinks she has invented, (for 'dress down' day), excited to tell all her friends about her trip to the hospital. Oh, the resilience of youth! She doesn't read my blog but I did tell her that all my friends were thinking of her and she wanted me to say thank you from her too. So, thank you from Diva!

By the way, I can't believe I forgot to mention this, but I was interviewed over on Emily's blog, Get Busy Writing. It was last Monday, but I thought I'd mention it in case you haven't discovered Emily's blog yet.

It's hard to believe, but we're at the end of our second journey through our musical stories, which means we end on a romantic note. The choices this week are a reminder that the course of true love can be anything but smooth.

The first song is proof, if proof were needed, that guys are just as scared as girls of getting it wrong and spoiling things. If you're not sure what to say, say nothing and enjoy the moment.

Song number two is the sad tale of what happens when you fall in love with someone you shouldn't. You see them when you can, instead of when you want.

For the final choice, the whole world knows this guy is in love, now, if he would only admit it to himself! If that description didn't give it away, I'll be very surprised.

So there it is, the end of series two. I do hope you've enjoyed it. There might be a third series, but for the next couple of weeks I'm going to showcase a few songs that didn't quite make it. These are usually ones that I think have a great story, but if they were books, I wouldn't quite know where to shelve them :-)

I'm thankful

Blue has something wrong with her, medically. It's still undiagnosed, and it's not major, but she suffers at times with her health. In contrast, Diva has the constitution of an Ox so it was a shock last night, when Diva came home from school and complained of having had pins and needles all up her left side during the bus ride home. It had started in her arm, moved up to her shoulder and travelled across her face. Her mouth and gums had gone completely numb. When she was talking to me, she sounded as though her tongue was swollen, and her speech was slurred. The pins and needles disappeared, but her arm had gone numb, she couldn't feel anything. I phoned the Doctor, and they said they would see her in the morning but to phone if anything changed in the next half an hour. I'd barely put the phone down when Diva began to panic that her arm was burning. I was back on the phone straight away and they agreed to see her in half an hour. Five minutes later, her arm was no longer burning but it was too heavy to lift, and very cold. I couldn't feel any difference in temperature, but it was obviously happening. That's when she told me that earlier, her leg had also gone numb and she struggled to walk for a few minutes.

By the time we went to the Doctor, most of the symptoms had subsided, but she now had a headache on one side of her head, which seemed to be moving round, spiking, fading, moving then spiking again. Lights were hurting her eyes and she felt sick. Outwardly, I was very calm but inside I was panicking. The symptoms seemed to be coming and going so fast and I had never seen anything like this before. I'll be honest I was really scared. After examining her and doing some tests, the Doctor called the paediatricians ward at our local hospital and told them to expect us. He told us not to go on the bus but to take a cab. This is the point where I really grew frightened.

I'll cut the rest of this short, but some of you may already know what the diagnosis was. The hospital (and the Doctor, it turns out, although he didn't say) are positive it was a migraine with aura. The type of aura (all the symptoms before the headache) is rare but still common enough to diagnose easily. They can't officially diagnose a migraine as there needs to be more than one to call it that but they are certain that's what it was. Strong painkillers eased the headache enough to the point where I was allowed to take her home rather than her staying overnight as they had originally wanted. This morning she has no more than a mild headache.

You may think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, and maybe I am, but last night, for a couple of hours I thought there was something seriously wrong with her. Don't get me wrong, I'm not underplaying the severity of migraines but they can be managed, they are not life-threatening, and she may not get another. If she does, we'll know what it is and be prepared. The things that were going through my mind – stroke, poisoning, tumour – are a lot harder to deal with.

I commented this morning on a post asking what I am thankful for. Today, I am thankful that last night my daughter had a migraine.

Internet - Luxury or Necessity?

This post was supposed to be my entry for the second Campaigners Challenge but I've got nothing. I even tried a poem, but it was just a lot of pretty words strung together with no real meaning behind it. I may be sitting this one out but that's okay, there are plenty of great entries out there. I have to say, I've been very pleasantly surprised by the high standard, considering the words given. It's been a really interesting challenge.

This week I received a telephone call from the local council who I'm negotiating a debt repayment with. We currently disagree on the monthly figure I should pay. Among other things, I was told that having the internet was a luxury I didn't need. I explained that I felt it was necessary as there are two adults in the house looking for work, and two teenagers who have important exams next Summer, who are constantly set homework assignments that require the internet. The Official said that wasn't a good enough reason to pay for such a luxury and it would have to go. He wasn't querying the amount I pay for it, just the fact that I pay for it at all. It's academic really, because even if I got rid of the internet, and made the changes that he said I should, our disposable income still wouldn't reach the amount that they are asking for.

So here's where I want your opinion, and I mean this genuinely. Am I wrong in considering the internet to be a necessity these days? Putting aside the fact that I'm a writer and a blogger, I could still work on my wip at home obviously, only research would be affected. The amount I pay for my internet would pay for 5.5 round trips per month between Techno and I to visit the Jobcentre and the library. The girls could probably stay late at school to do their homework. There are some problems with that, but I won't complicate things.

I'm honestly not just looking for you to tell me that the big bad council is wrong, (unless that's what you believe, of course), but I'm wondering if I have a false sense of entitlement, if actually the internet really is something that I should be prepared to get rid of.

So, internet - luxury or necessity?

ETA: This post has been edited to remove some of the more personal elements that I probably shouldn't have shared in the first place.

Sometimes writing comes second

(Click picture if you wish to enlarge).

Normal service will be resumed next week. I have a gaggle of teenage girls in the next room. They are very loud, and 'A very Potter Musical ' is even louder.

Happy fifteenth birthday Diva and Blue, I'm so very very proud of you.

Thank you all who have answered the questions in my previous post. I appreciate it, and it's been a great help.

Full of ideas, but all out of words

Well, after more than a week of upheaval, Diva and Blue each have a beautifully clean and tidy bedroom. We've thrown away enough rubbish to build a recycled replica of Buckingham Palace and I now have a dozen black bags of clothes in my hallway waiting to be donated to charity. Yesterday we visited the local library and handed over as many books as the three of us could carry up the hill, and any week now someone from the council will come and remove the sofa-bed from my driveway.

The only trouble is that somehow every single room, apart from the girls' rooms, is now a complete mess and full of things that don't belong there. The garage is overflowing with stuff (it's a good job we no longer have a car!) that nobody seems to want but we absolutely have to keep and, now that they have perfect rooms, Diva and Blue have lost interest in helping me. I don't blame them. They've worked really hard, they deserve the time to relax. Just like everything else round here, it'll get done. Eventually.

You would think that all this physical activity would really put a dent in my writing time wouldn't you? Well, you'd be wrong. The truth is, even before we started the house beautiful project, my writing had trickled down to almost nothing. I've been wrestling with trying to revise Looking for Lola (my one and only full length first draft) for weeks but I can't seem to make the story do what I want it to do. I think there's one of three reasons for this. The first could be that I'm just not a good enough writer yet to fix what I think is broken. The second could be that I just need to give it even more time before I go back to it – in which case, this week will have done me good – or the third reason (and the one I'm most worried about) is that the story itself just isn't good enough. I'm not sure which it is, but I'm not ready to give up on it just yet.

I did start to write another story, but a few thousand words in I wasn't sure the idea I had was strong enough to sustain a whole book. I haven't given up on that one either though, I mulled it over and made the odd note in my head as I threw furniture and moved rubbish. Then yesterday, something Diva said on the way home from the library gave me the germ of an entirely new idea. I jotted down a few thoughts and tried to file it away but it keeps coming back to me. There's not enough there yet to sustain a whole novel but it's coming, I can feel it. I'm a bit nervous about this latest one because it has to be set in an American high school and all I know about American high schools is what I read in books. Still, the internet is my friend, so it needn't be a deal-breaker. Whatever I decide, I need to do it soon. It's been a long time since I've gone so many days without writing anything, and just as I thought I was getting better too!

So, come on guys, what are you all up to? Has anyone else been through a slump like this? Am I wrong to try and force some words out, however bad they are, or do you think the act of writing itself is enough to get creativity kick started again?

There's more to fear than fear

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself ( Franklin Delano Roosevelt)

We all know that quote. If FDR was around today, his words would be the leading sound bite on every news bulletin. But, you know what? I disagree. There's a whole lot more to fear than fear itself.

On Monday, Chantele Sedgwick at My Writing Bug wrote a post about fear. There was a line in it that particularly resonated with me.

“I'll always have fears no matter what part of my journey I'm in.”

Years ago, when I was trying to get pregnant, my biggest fear was that it wouldn't happen. That fear was realised and my husband and I went through IVF. The only thing I had to worry about then was the treatment working. It did. Worry over, right?

Of course not. The first three months of pregnancy are the most dangerous. I could stop being scared once I got past that, not before. Except then there was the rest of the pregnancy, the premature births, intensive care, the fear of cot death, vaccination side-effects, and then...and then...right up to the present day and a whole new set of fears I have about my teenage daughters.

Yesterday I sent my Mum an email which ended with the line 'I'm forty-one years old Mum, stop worrying.' I got a response back asking 'at what age will you stop worrying about the girls?'

Okay, score one for my Mother.

Before I was pregnant, I really believed that at some point in the Motherhood process I would stop worrying. Ha! Just like as a writer I once believed that all I had to worry about was getting the first draft complete; but once I'd done that I had a new fear. What if I can't revise it well enough? That's where I am right now. Chantele's fear right now is of success. I bet I'll be scared of that too. Right after I've finished being scared of not finding an agent, not finding a publisher, not getting a release date and then...and then...

“I'll always have fears no matter what part of my journey I'm in.”

I understand this. I bet most of us, if we're honest, understand it. Not just about our writing, but about many things in life. That's okay. It's fine to be frightened, to have fear. Life can be scary.

What's important is how we react to that fear. We can wrap our kids up in cotton wool, or never let anyone else read our work. Or we can be frightened but, as Chantele says, learn how to deal with it and believe in ourselves. In other words, get on with living.

I'm a winner!

Apologies for the late posting but I've been a bit poorly this week. Nothing more serious than a heavy cold, but unfortunately Techno caught it, whereupon it mutated into that most deadly of strains, man flu. I try to steer away from clichés – you know, what with trying to be a writer and all – but honestly, that man is nothing but a walking cliché right now.

So, enough of the excuses, on to more interesting things. Like the fact that I won a competition.

Jami Gold at Paranormal Author had a prize draw to celebrate her one year blogiversary, and I won. Yay! What's really great is that I get to choose the prize (within reason of course, I don't think she'll spring for an African safari for me and 45 of my closest friends, sorry guys).

I'm dithering between a 3000 word in depth critique, and a 25,000 word beta read. My new writing project has stalled right out of the starting blocks and the revisions for Looking for Lola (well, I couldn't keep on calling it Joe and the Angels, could I?) are not going well. So much so, that I pretty much haven't moved forward at all in the last week or so. That's why I'm so thrilled about winning this competition. It's motivation; a deadline, if you like. I definitely work better under pressure.

Normal service will be resumed next week when Techno will either be better or buried alive in the garden (right now, I'm not too bothered which). In the meantime there's this. You may have seen it, it's been around for a while but even if you have, take another look. I bet you smile!

I've got a new hobby

Before I start today's post I need to point you in the direction of the lovely Meagan Spooner's blog. It's her birthday and to celebrate, she's buying one of her lucky readers a book. Someone needs to explain to Meagan how birthdays work, but go and see her anyway and recommend an awesome book or two. I suggested two fantasy series. One of them was the series I'm currently reading (as recommended by Techno when first we met). It's the Memory, Sorrow and Thorn trilogy by Tad Williams. All I'm going to say about it is that it's fantasy, of the 'Swords and Sorcery' type and up til now it's been awesome. I've only read The Dragonbone Chair so far. The others are Stone of Farewell and To Green Angel Tower. This last is split into two parts, Siege and Storm in the UK, and parts 1 and 2 in the US. Techno tells me that the books just get better and better so I can't wait.

There is a connection to my new hobby, I promise. This series I'm reading, along with The Pendragon Cycle I read before it, a fantasy series by Stephen R Lawhead, based on Arthurian legend, made me want to create my own fantasy world. I can see you rolling your eyes and saying 'big deal, all writers do that'. I've done it myself, plenty of times; but this is different. This time it's not a means to an end. I've no thoughts of writing a novel at the end of it. As much as I love fantasy, there's no way I could write a good story. I want to go way more in depth than I ever have before. I've started writing a list of things I want to know about, education, religion, politics, food, transport, entertainment, weather conditions and so much more. It's going to be something I share with the girls. Diva will be creating the maps and drawing the races of people based on my descriptions, and Blue is going to help me create names and languages. Even Techno has joined in, discussing different ways of building dwellings and water irrigation systems. (Don't ask, we know how to have a good time !)

I can see this taking months, as we have to do all that for each race we invent. At the end of it, hopefully, we'll have a fully realised world (or country, at least), populated with people we know everything about, in a land that holds no secrets for us. And for what purpose? Absolutely nothing, except that we can! I've never created a fantasy world before, most of my previous world building has been for the SciFi genre so this is something new. I'm going to try not to spend too much time on it, my 'real' writing has to come first, but everybody needs a hobby right?

So what do you think? Is this a pointless exercise? Is it weird (as one friend suggested) that the whole family are getting involved and there's going to be no 'pay-off' at the end, or is it worth it (as I pointed out to her) just for the sheer fun of it? Have any of you ever created a whole fantasy world? Anyone got any tips?

Advice to my selves

We've had some heavy discussions here lately so, in the interests of lightening the mood a little, I thought I'd give you a little giggle at some of the not-so-smart things I've done in my life!

A long time ago I had another blog. It didn't last very long as a few weeks after starting it I lost computer access for a long time. By the time I got it back, other things had taken over. There were a few entries in it that I quite liked, and I thought I'd share this one from August 2008. I've only added one piece of advice since then. So tell me, what advice would you give to your younger selves?

Age seven – Do not carry on a shouted conversation from the toilet in your classroom to the kid in the toilet in the adjoining classroom, especially when you tell a pack of lies about how you are the new girl from America when A. you have been at the school for a year, and B. you have a totally English accent. When you exit the toilet you will discover that the entire class, including the teacher, has been listening to every word. They will all laugh, and you will cry.

Age ten – When you are asked if you have any doubts about the family that are going to foster you, be honest. If you lie to avoid hurting anyone's feelings then both you and the family are going to be stuck with each other for seven long years.

Age twelve – When you are told that there is a place at Grammar school for you so you will be able to get higher qualifications and go to university at eighteen, but you will have to start working to your potential, do not tell the headmaster that 'what you see is what you get'. You will stay in a school that is due to close the year after you leave which means everyone, including the teachers, stops trying and you will leave at sixteen having never worked to that potential.

Age seventeen – When you go to college to get the qualifications that you should have got at school, so you can still go to university, do not spend the first year of the two year course in the pub. This will lead you to fail your end of year exams and you will not be allowed to return. You will then end up in a 'safe' utterly dull job instead of doing what you really want to do.

Age nineteen – Learn to control your eating habits. When you stuff all that crap into your mouth and people ask how you manage to stay so slim, do not reply casually 'yeah I know, one day I'm gonna wake up fat'. Because one day you will.

Age twenty – When your parents tell you they are emigrating and taking your eighteen year old brother with them, don't let pride stand in the way of telling them you want to come too. They only didn't ask because they didn't think you'd be interested.

Age twenty-two – When your friend tries to set you up on a date and you tell her you can't possibly go out with someone named N****, listen to your instincts. Run fast and far from this man.*

Age twenty-six – When you are 32 weeks pregnant with twins, do not wish you were no longer the size of a small block of flats. Because when the babies are born 8 weeks early you will spend 3 weeks watching them in hospital thinking it was your fault.

Age thirty – When you move to the other side of the country and you are secretly relieved when your husband tells you at the last minute that he's not coming, so you'll only see him for four days out of every fourteen, listen to the warning bells. Something is wrong here.

Age thirty-two – When you decide after a year at university that actually social work isn't for you, try to pick a more useful degree course to transfer to than sociology/applied psychology. Sure, it's fun, but it won't get you a job.

Age thirty-five – When you lose lots of weight and look great after becoming a single mum, check your graduation outfit before the day itself. That way your Mother won't have to pin your shirt to your trousers so they don't fall down.

Age thirty-six – When you meet the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, talk more about whether you should live with him or he should live with you. They have good schools there too.

Age Forty – When you spend 9 months losing five stone in weight (again), don't stop going to the slimming club. It will all go back on in less time than it took you to lose it.

Present day – accept that all the things that have happened in the past have happened for a reason, and have led you to this point. Sure you could be financially better off, slimmer and have a tidier house; but you aren't and you don't. What you do have is pretty damned good so hold on to it, appreciate it and be happy.

*Name redacted so I don't offend anyone. (Also, this guy wasn't my husband!)

This is a blog about writing, honest

Yesterday was mad around here. Techno has been suffering from toothache for days which, aside from the obvious, involves him doping himself up to the eyeballs, sleeping in odd places and at random times and asking me 'if it's not too much trouble' to cook him different things from the rest of us at stupid o'clock. Which of course I do because, well, I don't know why but I do. We have an emergency dental appointment today. I say 'we' because I have to go too. I'm hoping it will be better than last week's emergency appointment which seems to be what's caused this latest problem.

As well as poor Techno wafting around the place like the spectre at the feast, I had both the girls off school yesterday. They complained in the morning about not feeling well. Diva had a mock GSCE test that she was determined to go in for and kept trying to tell me she was 'fine'. I was vindicated when she threw up an hour later, at which point she stopped pretending she was okay and went to sleep. They're both fine today thankfully.

ETA Blue was sick in the middle of one of her mock exams. She insisted on staying to finishing it so they let her carry on in the nurse's office then sent her home when she threw up again. My poor little munchkin is now fast asleep upstairs.

Today is my birthday and the day I get to try a piece of the cake that the girls made for me on Sunday. The cake that they used crunchy peanut butter for the filling and that has been in the fridge for two days. It's the thought that counts.

Sorry this isn't a writing related post but things are going a bit wonky on that front for me at the moment. I'll probably witter on about that next time. In the meantime, so as not to get done under the Trades Description Act whilst referring to this as a blog about writing, I have some excellent links to share with you.

The beautiful Talli Roland is publicising this competition in which India Drummond is giving away five kindle copies of her new book Blood Faerie when it's released on June 1st. I also have to thank Talli for including the link to Kindle for PC in her post. After I downloaded it, I checked out Amazon and ended up downloading a ton of free ebooks.

This open letter from Adam Rex struck a chord with me, and I don't even write childrens books.

Six signs you're not ready to make a living as a professional writer made me laugh, in that uncomfortable 'It's funny because it's true' way. I think I'm only guilty of one of these, or maybe two, but I'm not telling you which ones!

Finally, I'm including this Interview of a Librarian just because. If you don't read any of the rest of it, read his last thoughts. Although, I suspect I'm preaching to the converted there.

What failing has taught me

I originally titled this post 'What failure has taught me'. I changed it because, in my mind (and this is just my thoughts, not a literal definition!), 'Failure' is what you are, whilst 'failing' is what you did. To put it another way: When Diva and Blue were little, if one did something daft and the other called her 'stupid' I would always correct them by saying 'what she did was stupid but she isn't stupid'. It took a while for them to understand what I meant but they got there eventually. Of course these days they call each other far worse but unless there are actual offensive and/or swearwords involved I let them get on with it. Indeed, some insults that teenagers come up with can be quite inventive. It was important to me that they learned the difference between what a person is and what they do. I grew up being told often that I was stupid and that sense of failure never quite leaves you. Thankfully that's not something that affects my girls.

I still haven't read the final draft I submitted to the competition. I will one day because the changes that Techno suggested are good ones and I think it could turn out to be a great short story. I'm just not ready yet. The whole experience has taught me something important though and it's that if I'm not totally convinced that there is nothing I can do to improve my story then I'm not going to submit it anywhere. Of course that's different to being convinced that the story is perfect, but I'm pretty sure you understand what I mean. One of the many reasons that I write is because it makes me feel good. Why do I want to replace that with a feeling that I let myself down? The old adage is true 'You never get a second chance to create a first impression'. The first impression I gave the people judging this competition (in my opinion, I haven't actually asked them, obviously!) is that whilst I might have some talent as a storyteller I fail in the execution of detail and presentation. This last is particularly annoying as the one thing I pride myself on is presentation. It's the one area where I have total control. I can't guarantee that someone will like my work but I can guarantee that it's spelt correctly and that I've used words that mean what I think they mean (wear and where, anybody?).

I'm very lucky in that the people who now have this less than stellar impression of me are people who (hopefully) I'm not going to come across again in the course of my writing career – unless of course I go to work for Alibi TV in which case I'll just change my name – but imagine that was an editor, or agent. Realistically, they wouldn't remember me if I chose to send them something in six months time, but the fact is I would always wonder and because of that I probably wouldn't send them anything. This industry is difficult enough without shooting yourself in the foot.

I'm not a failure, I failed. I'll fail again. Next time, I won't be the one who engineers it.

That would never happen

Last night started innocently enough. Techno asked me what I was working on and I explained I was rethinking the opening of a YA SF novel I'm going to be starting in May. (There's a reason I'm not starting it until May, but more about that in another post). Originally I had planned to open with my MC waking up, but I have learned that this is a BAD THING. Techno agreed that I could do better and we idly kicked around a few thoughts. Although he's supportive of me, he doesn't really get involved in plotting unless I ask him a specific question. On the rare occasions that we have in-depth plot talks I usually end up getting no help for the thing that I'm working on but enough ideas to generate half a dozen more novels. Ideas are something I don't need at the moment. I have a bumblebee mentality, always looking for the shiniest, tastiest morsel, and right now I just want to get something finished; but it was nice to be chatting away so when he asked me where the story would be going I was caught off guard, and told him. To give the guy his due, he actually said "no, don't tell me any more or you know what will happen." "No, it's fine " said I. "I like hearing your ideas."

Yeah, okay. An hour later, all the SF parts of my novel have been thrown out and I'm back to the drawing board. Apparently, I messed with the laws of physics. Even for fiction this isn't good – unless of course messing with the laws of physics is part of the story. Which, obviously it isn't. Seriously though, who knew the laws of physics were relevant in a story about a parallel universe?

As annoying as this is for me, Techno has reminded me of something. It doesn't matter if something isn't possible in the real world; if you're going to pretend it is, you damn well better make it sound like it could be. How many times have you read a book or watched a film and been happy to accept invisible men, flying cars, alien invasion or any variation thereof, but that one little detail – such as how they travel – seems to jar, and you find yourself saying 'that would never happen like that'. We're prepared to suspend any amount of disbelief for a good story but the writer needs to make it seem as though it could be possible or we're just not going to buy what's being sold.

I love my YA SF story. I'm still going to tell it, but it needs a lot more research than I originally thought. When Techno tells me 'I don't think your 17 year old girl would say that', I'll listen to what he has to say but make up my own mind. When he tells me 'If your 17 year old girl does that, according to what we know right now this is going to be the unintended consequence' then I'll take his advice.

If I want to tell an unbelievable story I have to make it believable. That's the bit I'm working on, so you'll never put my book down and say 'that would never happen like that.'

And in case you were wondering, yep, he gave me ideas for two more totally different stories!

Introducing...

Although this blog will be mostly (I hope) about my writing, I don't live in a vacuum, although sometimes I wish I did. There used to be an advert on television (I have no idea what for, maybe some kind of beverage) where the glamorous mum sat in blissful peace enjoying her drink; whilst around her the family got on with their day, moving at super speed. I'd love to sit in the calm little bubble. In reality it's usually the other three in my household chilling out in blissful ignorance whilst I run around at my own super speed doing stuff that they could do perfectly well for themselves. I just do it for them because...hell, who knows why?

That's my roundabout way of telling you that there are another three names that might show up now and then in my posts. I'm going to give them pseudonyms, just because I can. My first thought was to call them Wynken, Blynken and Nod because, after all, who wouldn't want to be called any one of those names? The problem is that I know I'd always have to be reminding myself who was supposed to be who. So instead I'm calling them names that bear a vague resemblance to their real-life persona's.

Blue and Diva are my fourteen year old daughters. Blue because it's her favourite colour, and Diva because she's going to be an actress. They are nothing alike physically but share a love of reading and creative arts, Blue writes and Diva draws. They both take it for granted that their Mother writes novels and will one day have something published.

Techno is my partner. I hate that word but I'm a bit old for a boyfriend and we're not married (Oh, the shame!). As for 'significant other', just, no. As his nickname suggests, Techno loves science and technology and I love him for it. Especially when he rebuilds my computer out of balsa wood and bits of string . He also takes it for granted that I write, although he's not as confident as the girls about me being published. Not because he doesn't think I can but because he's listened to enough speeches from me about the state of the publishing industry today. These speeches usually end with him asking me 'so are you gonna try anyway?' and me saying 'Hell yeah!'

So that's my cast list, small but perfectly formed; and now, as they say, let's get on with the show!